Life and Dream

The dream was the 17th OBOD Australian Assembly, or maybe the assembly was real life at last.  Not sure.  At any rate, it was bloody amazing, and I can't talk about much of it because it is secret Druid's business (it is a mystery school and it is most fun if you get to learn things in their correct order) however I can say that a weekend with more than 40 people who are all open, heart-centred, nature-loving, creative and just downright wonderful, well, it was life-changing.

Ceremony, connection, laugher, tears, goosebumps, stories, singing, dancing, hugging, meditating, making music, walking amongst the trees with people who love them like I do.  Pure bliss!

Can I show you pics of the lovely people and what we got up to?  Nopey nope!   I wish I could but I can't.  I'll hold the times and the photos close to my heart instead.  To those who were there, just let me say, I love you all, and you are all amazing humans, and may we meet again soon, because I can feel your hearts all the way out there across Australia and New Zealand, and it is something to hold to, but will not be enough forever.

Special mention to Dusty and Jenni, my fellow WA-ites, who shared a cabin with me and made me feel like a kid camping again.  You both rock and I love you lots!     

Here is the hillside beyond the campground with a distant rainbow.
     

Here is me just after my initiation as Druid.  What can I can say about that but, hell yes, if you are an OBODie on the path, keep going, because it just gets better and better, and of the Druids who held space for my fellow initiates and me, I want to say a heartfelt thank you, and may it be so that I one day come to carry and share the joy, warmth and wisdom that you carry and share so gracefully.

Almost the very best thing?  I made it!  No crashes, no bad reactions, I was full of energy for the whole four days no matter how hectic it got.  I had to be careful, especially of what I ate and breathed, but ten years ago, if someone had told me that one day I would be well enough to do such a thing, I'd have thought they totally sucked for teasing me.  Chronic Lyme *can* be treated and managed well enough to have a good life again, and I am living proof, but I will never take it for granted.  I'm loving every moment of it. 

Home is good too.  I'm still bouncy happy Tina.  No post-con depression.  I am every day working to add more of my spirituality into my life.  Seeking to find out who I am at core, and making sure I prioritise those parts of my life that feed that.  We are all works in progress, and I'm working on it.  Always will be, I'm sure.

More time in nature...

More time with good friends, human and animal...

More time doing work of the hands...

The moccs are getting a makeover. 

Druid tabard to be...

       More time doing all sorts of writing and making art and making music...

New kids' story coming soon!

More time doing service for my community at both my brigades, including my amazing new bushfire brigade, Chidlow VBFB...

Shiny new jacket for a shiny new beginning!

More time snuggling you-know-who...

And apparently less time crocheting, because that same you-know-who likes sitting on the current afghan way too much lately.

Blogging is still going to be less frequent, but I miss the diary element of my time here.  I might endeavour to be more regular with it.  We'll see.  Lots else to do these days!

I wish for you all, "a blessing upon your days, a blessing upon your lives, a blessing upon the land."  /|\ 

 

Whoops!

See one lazy post and now I have lots to tell you!

Firstly here is my mad sis on her mad horse already. It was just a quickie, to ride him up from his paddock. and I'm sure she was partly doing it to to get that first remount over with, but still, mad.  Horses and horse people have this in common: Neither has any sense of self preservation!  :D

Fionn's leg is still not great but it is slowly healing.  It really was a very bad cut.

I saw these photos go by my facebook feed this week. Archie, my smart-arse young pony who went to be a trick horse, at his usual best, being a pain in the butt down at the beach.

 
And using a mattress for a head-rest in the gooseneck.

He was an odd horse to live with: He was truly afraid of nothing and if he saw something new, he would canter towards it.  Very unhorse-like!  He is having such an interesting life now with Louise Crosbie. It suits him far better than living here with me and one aged pony.

We had a lovely bonfire night at a Brigade friend's block on Friday night.

Although for a while it was more like Armageddon than a bonfire, because Gogs lit up all the Grass Trees.  Don't worry, it doesn't hurt them.  They quite like a bit of a tidy up of all the dead bits, and these hadn't been burned for a very long time.

This was an amazing scene:  Sun setting through a burning Grass Tree.

I was brave and played my guitar for a while while people chattered, then we ate an amazing dinner cooked by the young fellers.  I don't know, I've never met 20-year-olds like those two young blokes. They totally have their shit together, as I'm sure they would phrase it!

Saturday morning we had Fireys.  I haven't been to my bushfire brigade for a while. The joy is somewhat lacking lately due to the nasty politics, and there's been other stuff to do. It was ok, though. A lot of my fave people were there so that was nice.  I'm sure, come the season, I'll be ready to turn out to fires, but for now a bit of a holiday doesn't hurt.       

Saturday arvo we set off our own last bonfire.

It was the last day when our shire could burn bonfires without a permit.  It's good to have it all done.  (And let's not mention the three huge ones we have up the block. They can wait till next year!)

This was a weird photo of Andyroo.  Smoke, or his natural angelic radiance?  Maybe he had toothache?   :)

Sunday we had Incident Management Training with my other brigade, the Darling Range Coms brigade.  I got to do a new job for me; placing T-cards, which means you are welcoming in, and helping keep track of, every vehicle that arrives on the fire-ground at a big fire.  It was interesting and I got to see a lot more of the big picture than you do while working the radios.

Taken from my spot at the T-card entry desk.  It is not all serious at the training. There were a lot of jokes flying around!

This was my spot, but I was out of it to take the photo.  

Some Hazard Reduction burns have begun happening but I haven't put my hand up for one yet.  I've been feeling really tired and overstretched.

It's ok, don't think it is my lyme coming back, I just need to learn to pace myself better, and it would help if I could stay out of the chemicals more, because breathing perfumes, washing powder enzymes, outgassing plastic and all the rest just creams me.

Unfortunately, people equals chemicals these days, so if I want to not breathe lots of toxic stuff, I would have to be come a hermit again, but I really don't want to do that.  Just need to find a better balance, then take my knocks as they come.  That or start wearing my fire mask everywhere!  

I'll leave you with this pic of a mud-brick shack sitting abandoned on the block near Gogs's.  I wonder what tales it could tell?

  
 
    

Fat is not a moral issue

Anyone who has followed my blog for a few years will be aware that I have lost a lot of weight in the past year or so. I don't usually post about heated topics on this blog because it is my place for sharing the stuff that affects my own life directly, mostly the good stuff.

I just want to say this, though.  I was not a bad person when I was fatter. I am not a better person now I am not so fat.

Being fat does not equate with being a criminal, being lazy, having no willpower or any other negative connotation.

Yep this is me. 

This is also me. still exactly the same me.

Being less fat does not mean you are stronger of will, more moral, or more deserving of love and respect.

I am the same person I was at either extreme and in the middle too.   

I long ago stepped off the billion dollar weight-shaming industry's carousel of suffering and decided to be happy and as well as I can be at whatever weight I am.

My current weight reflects many things, some good and some not good.  Weight gain would not be a bad thing if it happened because my gut had begun working better and I could one more eat and enjoy the foods other people take for granted.  More weight loss would be a good thing if it was because I felt so well that I could do more physical work and exercise. 

Is it easier being lighter?  Hell yes.  People treat you better. Clothes are easier to find. It's easier to walk up a hill.  If I had a job to apply for, I'd be more likely to get it.  That, my friends, is called weight privilege, and it's a thing, just like money privilege or colour privilege or gender privilege.

The best thing is not to comment on the size and shape of people's bodies at all. Any of them, and if they run themselves down, say only positive things back. Let's try not to judge people based on their size.  Let's all try to stay off the fat shaming treadmill, and that means to ourselves as well.

Much love to you all.


          
          

Liminal Space

That place where things are neither one thing nor the other.  The time of day where you go from being able to see things to when you can't, or the reverse.  Doorways, windows, holes in the ground, mirrors, moments in time.    

The spaces where you are waiting for something. The spaces you sometimes need to pass through to get to the next goal or the next fun thing.  The spaces you can use to get you deeper into the Otherworld, if you Journey.

A tree like this in your inner landscape can help you to go deeper and leave behind the ratty thoughts.  Duck under it, or go through a door or a window, duck under a rock or into a cave, or pass through the base of a hollow tree like this one, the ones I call petticoat trees.  If you need something, look and it will be there.

We are in liminal space just now for a few reasons.

We have just inoculated ourselves with human helminths.  Yes we really did!  With a cluster of auto-immune conditions for me and inflammation in Andrew's joints that leaves him in pain every day, fun remnants of our Lyme Disease, we gladly added these little guys to our biospheres.

Here I am welcoming in my new tummy pets! 

The first stage is super itchy but it soon settles.  Five dots each, for five little hookworms who will moderate our immune systems symbiotically, just as they have done for humans for thousands of years. 

Now we wait. First for the 'bounce' that they say leaves you feeling fantastic for a few days or weeks, then for the time when they have reached your intestines and your body reacts a bit, and finally for the time where you hope that all comes into balance.  Liminal space.  Waiting in a place between sickness and health.  Hoping.

I am in the odd, still space between novels just now, too.  I've finally finished the proofread on the print copy of Land of Giants, and am not quite ready to start writing my next novel.  Oh, before I forget, starting tomorrow there is a half price deal on the kindle version of Land of Fire for one week, so if you want to buy the first book of the Norse World Tales at a bargain price, now is your chance!  


The AGM for our brigade has been put back two months and now we must all wait to see what happens to the leadership next year.  Liminal, and stressful. In the meantime, the dry autumn and a new idiot of a firebug has meant more fires.  This week Andrew and I got to crew the 1.4 on our own, and it was a lot of fun to be Team Merrybard.

 

That's Angus and Andy all the way back there.  They were in the Light Tanker. 
 

  
We all got a bit lost going for water to refill the tanks.  It's not surprising. There is a bloody lot of both native forest and pine plantation out there.

Nothing but trees and tracks for miles!

We ended up following another brigade, who also couldn't find the water, but they came over a rock in the rough track at one point while getting turned around, and it was a fun sight to see them up so high above us.  They make the fire vehicles tough for a good reason!

 

 
We blacked out a 20m edge around the smouldering remains and were stood down, and home we came through a stunning sunset.

Coming in to refuel the truck on the way home, and the mundane is made beautiful.
 

It rained a little today, so perhaps that is the last fire call-out we will get this season.  We'll be waiting just in case. Liminal space.

   
       

"King and Lionheart"

The first time I heard this song by Of monsters and Men, it became Andrew's and my song.  It reminded me of our courage during all the Lyme years of desperate illness, of the way we have managed to stay together and stay loving, despite the difficulties that life threw at us. 

It's also one of my fave songs to play on the guitar. I hope you enjoy listening to it.

The pics we got of us at a fire this week are rather apt here.  This is Andrew being the Crewleader of our team.  He always has an air of kingliness, with his calm dignity, presence and honorable nature.  I think this pics captures him well.  He looks like a modern Knight.

And this is me, the Lionheart. Scared of stuff all the time; big stuff, little stuff, all the stuff,  but out there doing it anyway with as good a will and spirit as I can.

King and Lionheart. Yep, it still fits.

Or, as we decided we should be nicknamed the other night, Blaze and Smutty.  :D


   




         

    

Kangas hopping down the street!

Ha ha ha, see they really do here in Oz!

Not the best pic because the afternoon sun was behind them, but beggars can't be choosers when it comes to photographing wild animals you come across all of a sudden.
 
Admittedly it is a street of houses right beside miles and miles of bush reserve, but still!  Cheeky buggers!

Glad they don't do it at our place.  The ticks have been awful due to the unusually wet weather, and my friends who live near here have been covered in tick bites from ticks that the roos carry into their yards.  As a lyme disease survivor, that makes me feel very icky indeed!

We've been avoiding the kangaroo areas of bush when we go for walks.  Angus is still walking with us.  Though mum is recovering nicely from her 'op', walking such a large heavy dog will not be happening just yet. Tess comes with us some days, but not if we are going a bit further.

He's so handsome.  I must say, yellow Labs photograph nicely so much more easily than blacks!  See cute Rosie back there, wondering why her mama went back down the trail?  (Dropped my sunglasses when I put leads on them to avoid scaring a nervous little dog we met.)

After his walks he is very happy to go back to mum and keep her company as she rests.

I've been playing with hair braids a bit, having watched some youtube videos on the topic.  Braiding my hair shows Odin I am thinking of him.  He likes that almost as much as he likes offerings of mead or coffee!

At 51, it is a bit weird to be playing with hair-dos, but life is change.  I've never really played with my hair, even all those years when it was really long, so it is fun for me to learn new things to do with it.

The Legolas look:

The 'I don't know what' look.  These braids are fun to do.  They are known as rope braids.

Hmmm, I look a bit pale again there.  Have to go for an iron test soon.   Hope it is stable now!  Don't want to take any more iron supps.  They make me so sick.

I am having so much fun working out my first block-and-strummed song on the lyre. It is a gorgeous, sweet tune by the Portcullis Minstrels, called, "Forever and a Day."  Must get videoing soon.  I have three including that one that will soon be ready to show you.

I've been playing guitar almost every day too.  News Flash: You actually do improve amazingly fast when you practice every day!  Ha ha, it's not news to anyone but worth reminding myself. Musical skill stalls or goes backwards if you don't keep up your practice, and nothing hurts more than being able to play less and less songs instead of more and more!

We have been doing a bit of a reorganise this week.  Andrew is moving all his amateur radio gear out into the railway carriage where I had an art room that I never used because I like to work in the thick of life. Now it is a man cave and he can keep all of his incomprehensible and boring (to me) gear in there out of my way! !  Yay for both of us! 

The man cave in all its glory!

 Right now he is also putting together an ikea (gasp) cabinet.  We have been using this old Tv cabinet for so long and it was on its last legs, so we took the plunge and bought a new one.  This one has wheels, so we will be able to push it aside to get at the bottom shelves of our bookshelf.  It is a weird arrangement we have, but in a tiny, open-plan cottage like this one, weird stuff does sometimes have to happen.

"After" pic to come!

As part of the reshuffle, an armchair that had been out in the railway carriage for years came inside, and we started to get headaches. Luckily after a few days we linked it to mildew/mould in the chair.  Beware of mould!  As soon as we took it back out we improved and are now back to normal.

This pair of afghans also got displaced, so I gave them a wash, planning to store them afterwards, since we don't currently use them.  Instead, I am wondering if I can somehow fold and store them somewhere visible so we can still enjoy their vibrant colour.      

This one that was at my MIL's house is falling apart in some rows.  Any ideas of ways to repair it, perhaps by removing the rotten yarn and rejoining it with a crochet stitch somehow?

I have been to five cafes with friends this week, and drumming circle, plus the fireys' don and a Druid meet-up is coming this Sunday too!  I think it is the most social week of my life.  Yay!  So much for lyme-induced hermityness!  No more of that.  I'm out and proud of it!

Some of our brigade friends.  Want to know the best people in town?  Join your local bushfire brigade! 

It's been so much fun. Thanks to all my amazing friends and family for your company!  Think I'm developing a cafe habit.  Is there such a thing?  :D